TRANSCRIPT ~ EPISODE 5

EPISODE 5: Your own personal tango, with Eugenia Park

Producer/Host: Liz Sabatiuk | Music: La Puñalada" by Pintín Castellanos, performed by Juan D'Arienzo y su Orquesta Típica | Image Credit: Yulia Kriskovets

EUGENIA:
Everybody has their own tango. It's not that tango is owned by anybody. I'm not gonna say my tango is better than yours because you're not me and I'm not you. So whatever you feel and whatever works for you is fine. It just may not work for me in the same way, you know?

LIZ: Yeah.

EUGENIA: It's... just like in life, you find a partner that you want to be with, or sometimes you don't and- for whatever reason, whatever baggage we bring to the dance floor, we do. We bring our own personal experiences and some match; some don't.

[MUSIC]

LIZ ID INTRO:
I'm Liz Sabatiuk and this is Humans of Tango, where we explore what tango has to teach through the experiences of those who dance it.

LIZ SCRIPT:
For Eugenia Park, even decades before she started dancing, tango was personal.

EUGENIA:
First introduction was from my father who didn't dance. My father was blind. He absolutely loved any kind of music. The apartment had always been sounding with the classical music and tango. He loved tango music. It wasn't necessarily Golden Age of tango that we know and love so much. Some of it was, but some of it was just a variety of tango music. There was a songwriter, singer, very famous in his day. His name was Leshchenko.

[LIZ ASIDE] More about him in the show notes if you're interested.

EUGENIA: Who used to, after the [Russian] Revolution, he actually ended up staying abroad, not in Soviet Union. He had to make a living and he was performing in different places, singing tango and writing tangos and they are in Russian. In Soviet Union, he was prohibited because - whether he wasn't politically correct or the music wasn't politically correct - so we had, like, two or three of his records, which are, you know, 78, which is like one song on a record, and my father played it because it was so much fun. So one of them actually was milonga, his favorite one. Anyway, so I grew up listening to tango music and always wanted to dance, never had a chance.

LIZ SCRIPT:
Eugenia got married and had two daughters in her native Kiev, Ukraine, which was part of the Soviet Union at that time. In 1979, she and her family immigrated to the Washington, D.C. area, where she's lived ever since.

EUGENIA:
We came here and raised children and, ummm, and then my husband decided to trade me in for a younger model, which happens, unfortunately, quite often. And I saw a tango show, "2-by-2 Tango," and all the performers on stage were in their 40s, 50s, somewhere there. And I thought, I love the music, I'm going to try it.

So for literally two years, there was advertisement on television from Capital Tangueros.

[LIZ ASIDE] Capital Tangueros is a volunteer-run calendar of tango events that's still going strong today.

Eugenia: Call this number. Remember, it was all before internet. Call this number and find out where you can take classes. So I procrastinated, and then one day I went. My first class was with Joe Petrisko. I don't know if you even know this name.

LIZ: I know the name, but I don't think I've ever met him.

EUGENIA: He now lives in Buenos Aires. The very first time I went and took one class, which was 20 minutes, because I think I was maybe one of two people that showed up, [LAUGHS] Chan, my second husband, like, kept dancing with me and I thought, why is he dancing with me? I don't know what am I doing at all. He invited me and a couple other guys. And one of them, I don't want to mention the name, but he invited me to dance, and I told him, I said, "this is my first class. I don't know what I'm doing." And he said, "Oh, no, no, you'll be fine." Took me on the dance floor in the middle of the first song, he said, "you can't even walk," and dumped me.

LIZ: Oh, my goodness, and this is someone you don't want to say the name because it's someone I might know, someone who still dances in D.C.?

EUGENIA: Actually, well, he actually sort of dropped out of tango-

LIZ: I hope so.

EUGENIA: -over the course of the years. Right. The funny thing was that when I learned how to dance and I was more comfortable, he was a terrible dancer. You could not dance with him at all. But what a putdown, right? So I think that we all went through somewhat similar experiences.

LIZ: It's wonderful that you kept dancing. You got you got over the trauma.

EUGENIA: Yes. After this one class with Joe, somebody told me about Leon's classes. It always like was a big party there. It was class and then a party. Every week I went to Leon's house for class and it was just a great feeling of - because I was alone - of not being alone. And I made new friends and I've been dancing ever since.

LIZ SCRIPT:
It was a performance that inspired Eugenia to start dancing. But she soon found that what she most appreciated about the dance wasn't how it looked, but how it felt.

EUGENIA:
You start with the conception of what tango is and what you should do. And I always say that we're all exhibitionists in a way because not many people dance tango. Wow. And I can do this. And then you realize that it is much more than just steps and show. It's internal. It's emotional. And it is also movement, which is beautiful. Problem with tango is that people see the fancy stuff and they think it's very difficult. And so it takes them a little bit of time to go from the thinking level of, "oh, but this is really simple. Why couldn't I do it before?" Because it is. It's our prejudices in a way that stops us in the beginning to learn it the right way, because it's really easy. It's not scary. But to jump over that stumble stone, you know, that threshold of thinking that it doesn't have to be difficult, I think it's hard. Of course, it takes time to get yourself into the music so the music fills you and you move according to that feeling of the music that you have.

[MUSIC]

LIZ SCRIPT:
Eugenia started spending time with Chan Park, the man who kept dancing with her at that first milonga. Enchanted by the culture and artistry of social tango dancers in Buenos Aires, also known as milongueros, Chan and Eugenia dedicated themselves to cultivating that subtle magic in their own dance and in their local D.C. community.

EUGENIA:
And so, Chan was much more ambitious than I was and he absolutely lived that tango. He watched every video available. He bought them all. He started playing bandoneon.

[LIZ ASIDE] That would be the signature instrument of tango music.

And his comment was, "I don't understand. I know every step. Why can I not dance like milongueros?" And of course, we began practicing together and one thing evolved into another. [LAUGHS] And so for years, we were traveling and teaching tango as a result. But because Chan sort of analyzed what was happening, and it's not about steps, and it's about moving together and music, I truly attribute the change in our community to milonguero-style dancing, which is social dancing, from fantasy tango that Joe taught at the time, and Leon taught a lot of steps - but, you know, every teacher contributed something to the community because Leon attracted tons of people. People would come and socialize. It was such a nice place to be together.

LIZ SCRIPT:
I asked Eugenia to tell me more about the fantasy tango she encountered when she first started dancing.

EUGENIA:
Fantasy tango is just easier to teach, so many of them did the same. They would teach steps and combinations that had really no connection to the music. And so people would learn steps and just do the steps. But I think the culture has changed a lot because since those days when there was almost no teachers coming from Argentina, we had influx of teachers. Now when you see these teachers that are performers, when they teach lessons, they are very much focusing on basics, because if you don't have the basics, you can't really do anything else. You can pretend you're doing it. And I think it happens because when people watch tango performance, they think of tango as show dance, as legs in the air. You know that.

LIZ: That's what drives me crazy.

EUGENIA: Well, because you get to that level that you understand how good tango is without making it a show. It doesn't have to be a show. It's more internalized, really, and that's why it's so beautiful than showing your legs in the air or making splits. It's also beautiful, but you train for that eight hours a day. For us, for me, I would never do that. For most people, it's not the case.

LIZ SCRIPT:
I don't think Eugenia would disagree that steps and choreography can be useful tools to get students moving and offer a foundation for practice. But too much emphasis on performing movements that may not come naturally to our bodies can distract from what's most sacred to social tango, our connection with our partners and the music. Fortunately, the movements of our bodies can be beautiful and meaningful with or without leg lifts and splits. Eugenia discovered this early in her tango journey when she found that ganchos and boleos, the leg hooks and flicks so iconic to tango performance, didn't actually fit well with her body.

EUGENIA:
Many people were doing these ganchos and boleos that- when I started dancing I did them too and I just asked somebody to record me when I was dancing. And when I saw what they look like, I said, "okay, I'm done." They were all half cooked, nothing that was- what, you know, people on stage did. And I thought, this is really ugly. I am not doing this again. So for a very long time, I did not lift my feet off the floor. Whatever I did was on the floor. And once in a while, I will do some embellishment. But generally, it's not necessary. And it doesn't add really anything to the social dancing. As you know, I'm sure that after you dance for a while, you realize that the most important thing is connection with your partner and enjoyment of the music while you're moving. Like fish, you know, you just go in circles, and you just follow one another. And it's the tango universe of a tanda that you're enjoying with your partner.

LIZ: I love that image.

EUGENIA: Yeah, well, exactly.

LIZ: Although I have to admit, I actually really love boleos. Maybe it's that little remnant of ballet dancer that's left in me. [LAUGHS]

EUGENIA: You started tango very young. I did not. I was in my late 40s. The movement is different. I was never trained as a dancer. I never danced before tango. So, you know, the body is different. And the older you get, of course, it's even more different.

LIZ: Yeah...

LIZ SCRIPT:
Eugenia respects every dancer's right to develop their own unique approach to tango, based on their body and life experiences. She also has an unambiguous philosophy on how to approach the social floor.

EUGENIA:
You know, if you go to Buenos Aires, even younger people do not allow themselves to do fancy steps. Even professional dancers, if they go to milonga, they do not perform. They just dance like everybody else. And they're beautiful to watch because their feeling of the music is so beautifully expressed. If they perform, different story - of course, I want to see all of your boleos and all of that. But if you are in milonga, if you find a space and time to do them, great, but they don't really want to because they lose the feeling. When you perform it's a totally different feeling.

When I dance, I always close my eyes... If the partner is good, if the partner is not good, that's a different story.

LIZ: You got to keep an eye out. Make sure that- [they're toeing the line.]

EUGENIA: You've got to, like- okay, I don't want him to break my back, you know, because if he starts throwing me around like a potato sack, I don't like that. But I dance with my eyes closed because when I dance with somebody, I feel that we become one for that particular song. I am not performing. I am just moving. But people that are watching may feel that it is my performance, which of course it is because I'm in front of other people. But it is not my intentional movement to perform. But I must say that sometimes when you have like a big audience and everybody is watching, and especially like a lot of new people, you sort of get into the mood of "how do I look." But it doesn't happen to me, like, constantly. I may be dancing and all of a sudden I open my eyes and see somebody watching and I start thinking about it. But, you know- as you know, if you stop focusing on the music for one second, the dance immediately drops. Your partner will feel it immediately.

[MUSIC]

LIZ SCRIPT:
This inward focus on self and partner is what Eugenia has tried to convey to her students over many years teaching tango.

EUGENIA:
The style that we taught, which was really the simplicity of tango, takes longer time to absorb. It's easier to teach a step, when you feel like, "oh, I'm dancing- I'm making tango moves." As you know, it's- what counts is the miles on the dance floor. If you practice, you get it. If you listen to the music, you get it.

It's almost like there are two styles of teaching. One is by inspiration and another one is by drills. And in tango, like in every subject, really, if you want to be good at it, it's a combination of the two. When you inspire somebody, they have to observe, they have to analyze, why am I attracted to this? Why do I want to do this? And you have to observe people that in tango situations, dance tango, the good dancers, to understand how they move. And then, of course, try it yourself.

Teachers are important, but you are the best teacher. At some point, you graduate from high school, right? And then you're on your own and you have to figure out what to do with the skills that you have. You go to college, you go wherever you go, but life is a lifelong learning experience. It's a process. It's not a destination that you reach. You have to continue working on whatever you do, tango included.

LIZ SCRIPT:
Since she started dancing tango over 20 years ago, Eugenia has focused primarily on the follower's role. She still identifies strongly with that role, but since Chan relocated to Europe and their relationship transitioned from marriage to friendship, Eugenia has expanded her horizons for connecting with partners and music by leading.

EUGENIA:
I actually was spoiled because I met Chan at the beginning and he was very intense and he was a very good dancer, and I never had trouble having partners. Don't know. Even when I traveled by myself, always danced with- somebody invited me to dance and I had good experiences. And then when we split up, I wanted to dance and... I wanted to dance to the music because, for me, that's the most important thing. And it's very unfortunate, but not many guys either wanted to dance with me or dance to the music, whatever... happened. And I just started leading. I never really took classes. I just thought, I'll give it a shot. And I- it worked out.

Now, I never really learned how to lead steps, so I can lead a turn. I can lead ochos. I can lead pretty much basic steps. I do not do anything fancy. And I always felt super sorry for women who come to milonga and they sit out entire milonga because people don't invite them to dance. And we know that there are pretty girls that may not even be good dancers, but men prefer dancing with them. And, um, I just always felt super sorry for these women because, you know, they made an effort to come out. They want to move. They want to dance and they just sit out. So I started doing that. I started leading. If I see somebody sitting for, like, entire dance and nobody's inviting them, I would, I would dance with them.

I don't think it matters at all who is leading who is following in terms of gender, because we're all in this to dance. In my case, I prefer to follow, but I can lead.

LIZ: Why do you prefer following?

EUGENIA: I feel more like a woman...who I am.

[MUSIC]

EUGENIA:
It's so interesting to see how tango evolves within a community. It's like, when you have a group of older dancers who had been trained or who had observed to internalize the dance and pass that stage of, um, fantasy, should we call it, right? And became really good partners. It takes some time and unfortunately not everybody gets there. Maybe I feel that I got there earlier rather than later, and so for me, maintaining that sensibility of tango is very important. And I think that older milongueros, and I consider myself milonguera, perhaps just evolved to the point of dancing in a particular way, but it doesn't diminish the fun of watching younger people who are doing a little bit more on the dance floor, maybe, visually. And I don't want to call it performance because sometimes you feel like doing more. It comes within the timing. You cannot do anything without correct timing.

So remember I said to you that I stopped doing boleos after my first year of tango and I had myself recorded? But now when I dance with the right partner and I feel the right timing, I can do a boleo and it's quite enjoyable. It's not wrong, but generally I dance close. I don't make big steps. And that's another thing - the smaller the steps, the better dancer you are. And I allow myself to express that feeling that boleo I think brings me. So I feel much more comfortable doing this than I did before. And I don't know what that looks like. Maybe I should record myself again and say never again. [LAUGHS]

LIZ: Only if you care, right? Do you care? Because that's the question. 

EUGENIA: Not that I care. Exactly. At this point, I don't care, so who cares what somebody sees? It doesn't matter. You know, Martha Graham's "dance like nobody is watching." And that's really the key to tango too. [LAUGHING] You should. Because it doesn't matter who can see you doing whatever. It's you who experiences the move and the tango.

LIZ SCRIPT:
However simple or elaborate our tango, may we always keep our focus on the music that inspires us and the people with whom we share the dance.

Thanks to Eugenia and the Internet Archive, where I found the song featured in this episode, "La Puñalada," written by Pintín Castellanos and recorded by Juan D'Arienzo y su Orquesta Típica.

[MUSIC]